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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Loss

Well, it is 12:40am and I am still awake. I can't sleep. All I can think about is my sweet baby that I will not get to meet until the day we are united in Heaven. This is not how I pictured this pregnancy, I thought something was wrong for awhile but I did not know what is was, I was prepared for something, not for this. Why do these things happen, I will never know. I completely understand and believe that God always knows what He is doing but I can't wrap my brain around this one. I went to the dr for my 2nd ultrasound because the baby was in an odd position and they wanted to watch me very close - an ultrasound every week. The baby had a heartbeat the first ultrasound and I fully expected to hear one the second time around but I was wrong. Our sweet baby had no heartbeat and was measuring a week smaller than what was expected. We are really in a state of disbelief and shock. I know it will get easier but for the here and now it is not. I just keep holding on to God's plan and know something great will come out of something terrible. Please keep us in your prayers.